It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
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