She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
