He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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