And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
