bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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