But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Will exercising make me less horny?
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