ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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