The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
vagina is talking i cant
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
