Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
