bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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