what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
The air was thick with penises
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Randomize
