I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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