i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I know her cup size but not her name....
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
