you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Randomize
