I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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