I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize
