whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Randomize
