wat bout pragnant strippers??
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Randomize
