Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
