I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
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