absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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