Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
3 2 1 whiskey
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Randomize
