oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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