TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
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