Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
