what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
