She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Randomize
