Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Oh god it's open bar.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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