I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Randomize
