OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
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