There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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