I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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