but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Randomize
