While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Randomize
