At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
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