it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
