dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
