There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
It was confusing and full of hummus
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I just want nice things and good sex
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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