WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
