Where did you get a picture of my penis
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
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