Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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