My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
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