Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Randomize
