guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
