Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Randomize
