You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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