it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
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