Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
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