sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
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