There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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